Reviewing Sentry Merged Left

You've probably noticed that I've been veering from my usual stuff and writing more fiction than usual, which is really what I love to do.

Anyhow, I'm trying to write a story that's been floating around in my head for a while, and it all started with my oldest son pointing to a construction sign that pointed us to merge lanes, but there was no construction afterward.

Nothing, for miles.

Anyhow, after numerous false starts with my writing over the years, I started blogging in 2004, and if it wasn't for this process I never would have finished anything, let alone the book that is floating to my right in the sidebar.

So, all of that to say, it's much more fun to have you with me during the process as I tackle this particular story.

I was wondering if you'd be so kind as to read it and give me your feedback? I hope to post at least one chapter a week until it is finished as an entire book, but it will be on a different blog, which I'll point you to for Chapter 2.

Throughout the process it will be officially cleaned up by an awesome editor (yes, that means you, Leslie) and into a book proposal, then to the very cool agent who is representing me for the other rabble I've written (though he tells me he doesn't handle this kind of material, so we'll just have to change his mind about that).

This would of course make you, my beloved five or six readers, front seat to a process which, start to finish, has about 98% chance of crashing and burning.

But it's fun nonetheless.

(If you can't tell, I'm only a little bit cynical about the publishing process, and this is because out of fifteen publishers that said very cool agent has submitted So I Go Now to -- now called A Carpenter at the Rialto -- I've received six rejections, albeit very nice ones. Six down, nine to go, so maybe you could lift up a prayer. )

(i'm waiting)

Thank you!! Oh, and by the way, the waiting game while trying to get a book published is excruciating. I think it should be a new form of torture.

Alright already, enough of my whining.

Chapter 1, below!

thanks..

Jeff

Sentry Merged Left ~ Chapter 1

Not too long ago, on a muggy Thursday evening in late August, sixteen-year-old Sentry set out upon a bicycle ride.

It was a ride that would soon change the course of his young life.

Now before this ride, Sentry would describe being sixteen as awful and awkward and full of various injustices. Nothing was ever fair and he was indeed a victim, receiving daily doses of horrific and undeserved treatment from someone in authority over him.

To begin with, Sentry endured no end of torment due to his rather unusual first name. For this, he blamed his parents. Who would do such a thing?

In fact, Sentry was often asked if his was a family name, to which he always responded, “It is now.”

Still, despite the idiocy of their choice in giving him such a ridiculous name, weathering that abuse had become mostly tolerable, especially when compared to something of more pressing concern. Something far more humiliating.

You see, Sentry (being properly and legally licensed to drive a car since early spring) was unduly forced, for the entirety of the summer, to rely not upon a motor vehicle, but instead upon the aforementioned bicycle as his main form of transportation.

Making matters worse – much, much worse – was that Sentry's friends (nearly all of them) were rich. And they each drove around in their very own cars as if it was natural and normal and expected. Sentry's parents would not extend the same courtesy, though, and used the convenient excuse of not having enough money for such luxuries, as if that would somehow pacify their son.

Additionally, they did not think it wise that he should borrow one of their cars, unless of course, they were also present as passengers. This was utterly unacceptable to Sentry, who felt this to be harassment, and yet another cruel feature of their ongoing persecution.

Other tales of woe could certainly be shared, but suffice it to say, the ride Sentry would take on this muggy night was indeed on a bicycle, and it was obviously a quite necessary ride to clear his awkward, tormented, abused, harassed and altogether persecuted sixteen-year-old head.

And it was on this sad form of transportation that Sentry turned westward, as he had on many occasions over the summer, away from his home and quickly on toward the last shadings of daylight. The breeze cooled him as he picked up speed and veered onto a hilly and bendy country road bordering thick woods to the south – woods which came alive with the sounds of the night and always seemed to usher in the darkness a little earlier than the rest of his town.

The sharp turns in the road concealed the potential of traffic in either direction, so he paid close attention to what was coming over each rise and around each bend. Having no lights on his bike, Sentry presumed correctly that his reflectors would be of little use, especially if a passing driver couldn't see him until the last minute.

Still, for an otherwise well-traveled road, it seemed as if he was all alone, and had been for quite some time. It felt right and good, however, for Sentry was the oldest of four children and because of this, he was rarely alone, but for these evening rides.

The sounds of the forest were nearing a fevered pitch and up ahead, there was a short flat stretch in the road. Sentry took a brief opportunity to take his hands off the handlebars and look up at the dim August moon, all the while marveling at his ability to balance.

The next hill approached more suddenly than anticipated, so he quickly regained control of his bike.

For the first time that night, there was light up ahead; yet it was pale and blinking in the creeping dusk – not the ever-intensifying white brightness of headlights.

As he cleared the crest of the hill, he discovered the source of it: a big, yellow road construction sign with an arrow pointing south, toward the woods. It demanded action, to merge left, for it signaled construction that was underway immediately, or very soon afterward.

So, Sentry merged left, even on his bike.

As he passed by, there was a clicking sound that became noticeable; the bulbs switching on and off. He rode further, just beyond the arrow, but there was nothing to suggest the reason for the sign. No construction, no torn up road. No barrels. No work crew.

He continued up over the next hill and down the road a bit.

Still nothing.

So, Sentry circled back to the solitary arrow pointing south, blinking, and clicking with silence in between. The air felt stifling to him and he was more alone than ever now, on the border of the woods, an ever darkening scene around him.

The night creatures and insects stopped chirping, their concert over for the moment. He should have turned around and returned home, but instead he laid his bike down on the ground, on the side of the road, behind the big sign, its construction arrow illuminating his surroundings as if on cue.

Blinking, clicking. Blinking, clicking.

And right about then, a whimper was heard, and a girl quite familiar to Sentry emerged from the woods, pale and panting, her dress torn.

More Prayer Needed for Hallie

UPDATE 10/10

Not much to report, other than Hallie is stable at home and enjoying the company of her family. Family members have been tested, and she remains #1 on the donor transplant list for the entire state of NY! That gives her doctors the luxury of being highly selective with regard to the liver they pick.

So, we wait.

Thank you so much for your prayers, and even now, I know everyone could use a few more! Pray that God would see fit to provide the perfect liver for this sweet little girl, however that may come about.

Blessings!

Jeff


UPDATE 9/4

I was with Hallie over the Labor Day weekend and she's just as sweet as she looks in this picture! Unfortunately, she has a lot of lines running into her for medication and the inevitability of her upcoming surgery, but she remains a trooper even at her young age. Thank you for your prayers; the entire family could use them as they navigate through this difficult season. A donor could surface at any time (unfortunately through someone else's misfortune) or my sister could be the proper match, leading to a transplant surgery in the upcoming weeks.

UPDATE 8/21
Keep praying everyone! Hallie is stable (and still smiling) but everyone is playing the waiting game for a donor. We don't have a firm date on a surgery, but it could take place at any time if the donor is a match. Jodi is being tested all of this week to see if her liver could work, and if so, the surgery would take place in mid-September. NY has a two week waiting period for donors to change their mind, even if it involves the parents.

Thanks to everyone for your e-mails and your ongoing prayers :-)

UPDATE 8/15

Well, friends.. need to ask for more prayer! Hallie needs a liver transplant. Her father (Jeff) was tested and the surgery was all set for 8/21, except they've now determined the match will not work, and they've cancelled it. She's been moved to the top of the transfer list where they live in Rochester, and her mother (my sister ~ Jodi) is now being tested as well. Please offer up prayer on Hallie's behalf, as well as for Jeff, Jodi and family.

UPDATE (5/7):

She's home!!

She's on quite a few medications to ward off infection, and needs to keep weight on, but hopefully all will remain calm in this sweet little girl's road to recovery.

Once again, I thank you all for your prayers.
Blessings to you and yours..

Jeff

UPDATE (5/1):

Hallie is out of the ICU and is currently in the pediatric ward. The intricate pattern of tubes and IV's are starting to fall away one by one.
Hopefully my next update will be that Hallie is at home with her family!

Biliary Atresia isn't something that can be completely healed, but the surgery she just endured will allow her to lead a mostly normal life. A liver transplant may be necessary in the years ahead.

I'm so grateful for all of you and the time you're taking to pray for this sweet little girl. Thank you!!

UPDATE (4/27):

Each day is better for Hallie! Her temperature is holding steady, kidney function is still good, and she's quietly recovering from her surgeries. She's been opening her eyes from time to time and the Dr.s hope to get her off the ventilator over the weekend.

The power of prayer is undeniable. Thank you for the part you've played (and will hopefully still play) in her ongoing recovery!

UPDATE (4/24):

Thank you SO much for your prayers and your encouraging e-mails. Currently, Hallie is stable. They've been able to get her kidney function under control and her fever has broken, which the doctors were pleased with. She's not out of the woods yet, and so much seems to change at any given moment, so I'd appreciate your ongoing prayers! ~ Jeff

Hey everyone ~

Could you lift up a prayer for my niece Hallie? She's 2 months old and was born with a condition called Biliary Atresia. She needed surgery last week to repair the bile ducts in her liver, and since that time she's needed a second surgery to repair an intestinal kink. I received a call this morning that she's not doing well at all .. kidney function is not where it needs to be.

Any prayers you can offer on Hallie's behalf, as well as my sister Jodi, brother-in-law Jeff and family would be much appreciated.

Please also pass this on to others that you know will pray. I will post updates as I get them.

Blessings, and thanks ~

Jeff

Chapter 25 Try and Love One Another Right Now

Come on people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try and love one another right now.

The Youngbloods




It really isn't necessary for you to dig out any of those flower-power songs from the sixties. Just look around you. What's old is new again.

Love is making a comeback.

You gotta admit, though -- in Christendom, we had a pretty good run without it.

We ignored it.

We hushed it away.

We put conditions upon it or saved it for special occasions.

We released it in small portions when the timing was right (and when others were looking).

When they weren't, we gave love a back seat during our debate and our discourse.

We sent it off to foreign lands.

Ultimately, we buried it.

But love would not be denied. In fact, never designed to play second fiddle, it was marking its return while we were still underestimating it, assuming it to be some fickle and quirky emotion.

Not even close.

You see, if we take the Word at his word, then it's pretty clear that Love itself hovered over the waters even before the world began. The Word, being marked by Love, was with God, and through the Word, all things were made. In the very beginning, Love was present.

Love was the grand Designer of it all.

And true to form, at just the right time, the Word became Jesus, at Christmastime to be exact; a cosmic shrinking of an all powerful Creator into a mere human: a carpenter (so he could still make things with his hands). He was a man, but only because he allowed himself to be; not on some whim, some lost bet, but because he knew he must overcome all challengers. Love needed a comeback and so he delivered himself; for someone such as me, and someone such as you. For humanity as a whole.

The Word, because of Love, got out.

It makes no sense, but who could make this up? There he was, Love come down, walking this earth, a supreme Power in everyday skin, knowing full well that the sand between his toes, the stones of the Temple, the fig upon the tree, the beak of the bird, the sun, moon and stars, all came into being because of him.

And through him.

We know he was here -- the history books tell us that. But we also know that history repeats itself, because back then, too, they did their best to push Love down.

They hushed him away.

They put conditions upon him (they had also enjoyed a good run without him).

Then, they buried him.

Yet, here’s the thing about Love: because of him, the forces of hate never had a chance. Death had finally met its match.

But it wasn't easy. This was not a light-at-the-end-of the-tunnel return from death where a man lay helpless on a hospital table and for a minute or even an hour he teeters between waking and sleeping until a doctor shocks him back into reality with enough memory intact to weave his tale of the afterlife.

No, this man beat death after being beaten himself, this very Love pierced and brutalized into submission. No one took out the paddles, nurses sourrounding, waiting for a charge that would save his life. He was deserted in a tomb to go the path of all other bodies before him.

He was ignored and sent away, and for three days he fought the battle on his own.

But you know what? Love won. He brought himself back to life. He delivered his comeback and he lives; then, now, and evermore.

Love will not be denied.

Well of course! This all makes sense because Love created and still sustains all life in its own image. Love persevered, and once again, it's making a comeback.

We were designed to love. What's old is new again.

So, come on people now, smile on your brother, everybody get together ..

Sing it with me:

Try and love one another right now.